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Joe Ebsen
USA
60 Posts |
 Posted - 07/21/2010 : 09:41:23
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| Anyone heard any good jokes lately? |
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pmelloy
USA
64 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2010 : 11:53:05
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| Joe, yo Momma's so fat... whenever she wears her Malcom X t-shirt a helicopter lands on her. |
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pmelloy
USA
64 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2010 : 11:55:18
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| Sorry Joe, I can't think of any jokes. |
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Joe Ebsen
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2010 : 16:42:12
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A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cheesehead.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they are
Cheeseheads too.
No one really knowing what a Cheesehead was, but wanting
to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy
fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen
who has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has
decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a Cheesehead."
"Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"Why, I'm a proud Vikings Fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Kristen why she is a rebel.
"Well, my mom and dad are Vikings Fans, so I'm a Vikings Fan too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if
your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Cheesehead" |
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pmelloy
USA
64 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2010 : 12:33:12
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| Joe, I like it. That's funny because I saw your mom out here last week after bar close in cheese country and she was kicking a cardboard box, I said Mrs. Ebson what are you doing? She said... moving. |
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Joe Ebsen
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2010 : 14:38:23
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| .... into a Cheesehead luxury suite. |
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Joe Ebsen
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2010 : 15:51:24
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Paul tries to take his friend hunting, but when they get to his favorite hunting spot, they find “No Trespassing” signs everywhere. Paul tells his friend to wait in the car and walks up to the nearby farmhouse. The farmer answers the door, and Paul says, "Sir, I’ve hunted on this property all my life, but now I notice you have a bunch of signs up. I wanted to see if it was still OK for me to hunt here." The farmer scratches his chin for a bit and says, "I’ll make you a deal. We’ve got this cow out back that we have to kill for food, but we’ve grown too attached to it. If you go out back and shoot my cow, I’ll let you hunt on my property." Walking back to the car, Paul decides to play a joke on his friend. "That old bastard won’t let us hunt on his property," he tells him. "I’m going to shoot his cow!" He then walks over to the side of the house and-BLAM! Suddenly two more shots ring out behind him, and his friend runs up, yelling, "I got the cat and dog too! Let’s get the hell out of here!"
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Joe Ebsen
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2010 : 09:04:53
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What do you call a group of 15 Lawyers skydiving?
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Joe Ebsen
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2010 : 09:06:00
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| A perfect setup for Game Fair trick shooting. |
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Joe Ebsen
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2010 : 10:03:47
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Note: This is an exact transcript of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, "We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
The radio went silent and the interview ended. |
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Joe Ebsen
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2010 : 10:07:38
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One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center. The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship. The man turned out to be the
village idiot.
"This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen." said theFBI man. "How in the world do you do it?"
"Nothing to it," said the idiot. "I shoot first and draw the circles afterward." |
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any good jokes?
